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A Daughter's Thoughts
On the great days, my memories consist of spontaneous outings, silly personas and a whole lot of love. But then there were the days when she was difficult, demanding, and opinionated. Her emotions would run hot and cold, and you just never knew which mom you were going to get. At 48, my mother was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. She shared bits and pieces of what that meant but I still didn’t understand. Why couldn’t she control her moods? She had a great life, nothing to be depressed about. How could she ever contemplate killing herself? Didn’t she love us? Why did she have to see her shrink every couple of days? Couldn’t she just figure this out and snap out of it? It wasn’t until last year that I began to understand the deep, dark world my mother had been living in. Never before had she shared her true pain with me. She couldn’t even talk about it. Instead, she let me read her book. Her deeply personal account of the disease she didn’t even know she had been fighting. Then it all became clear. I started to understand her. And that the things that had hurt me so profoundly were not about me at all. It’s impossible to imagine living the way my mother has. Knowing that you cannot exist as yourself without the constant tweaking of medications and the support of therapy must be disheartening. But she continues to live each day with a survivor’s attitude. There is no cure for her disease. The writing of her memoir has been part of her therapy. She believes that if she can share her story with others who are suffering from mental illness, they may not feel so alone. And they too can make it another day. "LIFE IS LIKE A LINE A Memoir of Moods, Medication, and Mania" by Cynthia Sabotka will be published in the Spring of 2008. Please help us share this story and message of hope! Click here to read more about the author on Wikipedia
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